Premature

One day a guy with premature ejaculation problems went to a doctor.

The doctor said, "Whenever you feel the urge to ejaculate, startle yourself." So he went out and bought a starter pistol. When he got home his wife was naked in bed ready for him. So they got in the 69 position and started at it. When he felt the urge he fired the pistol. The next day he went to the doctor and the doctor asked him how it went.

He said, "Not too good. My wife bit off three inches off my dick, shit in my face and my neighbor came out of the closet with his hands up, naked."